Amelia opened her eyes. She was once again aware but had no idea how much time had passed. She remembered Josie and Nicky and the others. She was full of despair and felt a great loss.
Are they here somewhere?
Where am I?
She heard someone calling her name. Was it Josie’s voice?
“Where are you”, she answered.
Waiting, she wondered if it was indeed, Josie.
She called out Josie’s name, then Nicky’s name and waited for a reply.
Nothing. Maybe it was just hope and longing on her part.
“I don’t even know where I am”, she thought out loud.
Am I dead? Is this purgatory?
“Amelia, help me. I can’t see you”.
She was sure now that it was Josie she heard. “Josie, I can’t see you either, but I hear you. Are you OK? Are Nicky or any of the others with you?”
She waited for a reply.

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The cold gathered around their feet, pulling the warmth from their young bodies.  The blazing fire didn’t feel warm anymore.

Fear began it’s crippling takeover and death ended it.

One by one, they fell prey to it.

Josie, the youngest, was first.  She curled up in a ball, shivering and weeping quietly to herself..

Nicky watched her and slowly slid into himself.  It was a dark and quiet place he would not ever return from.

Amelia, the oldest, stopped rocking, stared out the small window and wondered if there was any hope left anywhere.  She remembered past joy, happiness and dreams, but the others did not.

She watched them as one by one they slid away from her, thankful only for their easy passing.

Maybe the next life would be easier.

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Remember the time…

When wall street folks destroyed the middle class with their “easy to get” mortgages and other tricks they use to get people sucked into deals that they cannot get out of?

I haven’t forgotten. I remember that not one of those “wall street bitches” ever paid for the damage they did to an enormous number of middle class Americans.

I read a great idea the other day and I wish to push it out into the world.

Simple, helpful and sooooo sweet. All brokers, brokerage houses and anyone else with a license to sell stocks, bonds and commodities should pay a tax on each share bought or sold. 1% (one percent) should do it.  Not the people who are buying or selling, but the wall street pimps.

This money should be collected and returned to every state to be used for education.  Especially college tuition at State universities.

Not only did they “steal” the money and no-one got held to blame, but now college students are being made to pay outrageous interest  rates for an education in the land of the greedy politicians and bankers and wall street wolves.   So wrong in so many ways.

Time to take our money back..

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I am angry about…

The same time that the 2 cowards set off explosions in Boston, there was an explosion in West, Texas.  I constantly hear about how brave and great the runners and other people who helped out and saved lives that day..I agree. They were and they deserve kudos, however, so do the first responders in West, Texas.  They all lost their lives.  I don’t hear much about them anymore.  Oh yeah, FEMA refused extra funds to rebuild with.  And now they are a political football.  The Governor is blaming the current administration for not coming thru and, I am guessing, not handing out too much money.. Why do we forget those who come to save us…

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Where are we now?

With July 4th approaching, I wonder how many people think that letting people know what your government is doing to you is traitorous.

Why does the US of A need so many secrets anyway?

Why do we need drones?

If the money spent on secrecy and watching (spying) on all of us was spent instead on educating, feeding and taking care of the issues that cause poverty, maybe no-one would need the drones and secret programs. 

Any one agree?Disagree?

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As If it really is…

Hooray, thanksgiving day (lower case) is here..

I do mean “thanksgiving” day.  I would like to list some of the things I am NOT thankful for.

1. Greedy corporations, for taking away a day of rest for most of us by starting the shopping sprees early..

2. The idea that gift-giving is the end all, be all..

3. Making all Pro sports the centerpiece of our “thanksgiving” day.  I often wonder if the families of the players might want a chance to stuff their faces and be with their loved ones.

4. The fast pace of technological changes.  We don’t know how much harm can be done by what, but we still want faster, bigger, smaller, more powerful, less energy reliant and so on.

5. The silliness of some of the TV shows and their so-called stars.  I am particularly not thankful for all the morning show cheerleaders.  It took women a long time to be able to co-host in the truest sense of the word and it would be nice to see more of these women stop acting like idiots in short tight dresses.

I am thankful for

1. My son. He is a nice and decent & honest human being. He makes me proud.

2. Louie & Harry 2 of my cats.  They are sweet and cuddly and they purr a lot.

3. My fluffy puppy, Moose.  He has reminded me of so many things about life that I had forgotten.  Do you have any idea how much fun a dirty squeaky ball can be?

4. My house – I really love it even tho it is not the biggest or best.

5. That I can take care of myself.

6. That I am good at my job and that people like me and can depend on me.

7. That I can pay my bills (mostly on time)

8. That my brain is so active and constantly whirrs and whizzes.. Always questions..

Ok, just a few comments brought on by the morning TV crap on Thanksgiving Day.

I am looking forward to the Christmas shows even though they are crass and add to the commercialization of a very special holiday season for so many.

The best of the season to all and I will probably have a lot to say about the new year…


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how much time is left !!!

Superstorm  Sandy makes me wonder.  I think of the people who have lost everything and the people that died because of that storm and I wonder how many of them were afraid of the Mayan prophecy about 12/21/12.

We do not know (consciously at least) when we will be devastated and by what.  We do not know how much time we have left.

I knew a woman who was supposed to die for 30 years.  She recovered from so many things that have killed others (diabetes, severe listeria, kidney failure to name a few) that after a while it was assumed that she was never going to die.  Her daughter had been told that she needed to accept her mother’s death so many times that eventually she was just waiting for her to die constantly.

Thirty years is a long time to think you will die soon.  I think it is best to assume you will live no matter what.

Of course that sounds insane, but so does dying for 30 years.  Since I believe in life after death and a form of reincarnation, I know that I will live forever.

I do not live life to the fullest.  I watch and listen to everything.  I believe everything and accept very little.  Life around me is so interesting right down to the tiniest detail (like finding deer footprints in my back yard, 5 feet from my back door) that if I tried to do tons of exciting stuff I would miss all the little things that add up to the big exciting things.

Hard to understand?  I am boring on the outside but exciting on the inside.

And now I wish the best for all the cold, homeless and lonely people in the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy.  The power will come back on, your house will be replaced or fixed, but you will never trust the ocean again and will live in fear for years every time someone predicts a nor’easter.   I still fear the wind.  One too many hurricanes and fallen trees.

but I had so much time left and so will most of you..


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Before this me

I am a doctor and I am currently being chased.  My wife & I are now hated & feared.  We did all we could but there was no medicine or herb or chant to fix the disease.  It took them quickly and in a gruesome manner.  Those who didn’t get sick wanted someone to blame..

It was not always so.  When I began healing and helping here I wasn’t blamed for death.  They knew death came on “quiet feet” in the throes of life, to everyone, regardless of age and social status.  But with this new enemy they want someone to pay for their loss and pain.  I wish my I had found the answers they seek in my search for cures…

The scene fades..

Glorious Gypsy life

I am a young woman, in a thinly forested area. The ground beneath my bare feet is gray and dusty. The air smells clean and the mist makes the world around me beautiful and look as if it fades in and out of reality.  I feel as though I am creating the moments before me.. I am dancing in the dirt, my rich green dress swishes as I twirl and run and jump.  My long black hair dances with me and flings itself at my face as I spin..I know that there is a long free life in front of me.  I breathe my life and I am dancing for joy.

Joyous life

I am a young female in a city.  I love it and every day is noise, work and friends.  I am petite, cute, confident  and very happy.  I walk a lot and I am strong and healthy.  I really love this life..This one reaches out to the others..

Quiet and meditative life.

I am a young Indian  traveling a path in the woods on the east coast of America.  I frequently travel from what is now Virginia to New York.  I am wearing hide clothing and moccasins. I am strong and a good hunter.  I have a large  family and I am on my way back to them.  I have been to visit another family a few days journey from my home. I love the woods, the feel of the damp leaves and moss under my feet. The smell of the earth surrounds me and makes me want to run and play with the wind. but I am too grown up for that.  That is what the young boys and girls do..I feel my life in my body and in my breath. the air that surrounds me is alive and creates the path that meets my feet in this beautiful forest.  The world is one and all the people in it belong where they are.  Life is very good.

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The first blog …

The first blog is about my sister.  We never got along when growing up and I never saw her when we finally got it together.  She was wild and I was a prig.

I always thought she was very talented and creative, pretty too..she could draw, paint, raise hell and was a great cheerleader.

I was introverted and a great student but lonely and alone.

She lived and I am still trying to.

RIP CDD, see ya on the other side..

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